new moon project: zivar amrami

below is a reflection from yours truly, editor and a contributor to the new moon project:

i've been doing quite a bit of reflecting and engaging with the larger questions of life lately.. maybe it's witnessing the women of the new moon project as they share their truths, maybe it's a major shift in my work efforts and responsibilities, maybe it's a recent softening in my partnership with n, maybe it's the spring energy and warmer mornings, maybe it's the wrinkles around my eyes and the graying hairs that signal a new phase.. maybe, maybe. it is probably a combination of all and many other bits.

i feel myself stepping forward into my truth and, while this once was an incredibly frightening prospect, my heart is spacious and authentically full with joy, compassion, deep wounds and mourning, and immense gratitude.

i have failed so much in the last few years, both in relationship to myself and in relationship to the people who matter most to me. i have acted with disrespect, i have treated people's pain without love, i have hid in small spaces and let people down. i have walked away from my true path because i was afraid, because i didn't believe in my own strength, because i didn't believe that my friends + partner could support me there. i have masked my heart and my hopes for the future in order to keep the peace. i have been ashamed of my feelings and worried my sensitive heart is too much.

and, in the last few years, i have been courageous and have grown in ways i could not fathom in my twenties. i have shown up for my self with care. i have honored my profound needs and shared them with others. i have built a partnership with someone who i truly respect and love. i have let go of friendships that no longer serve my path and i have re-committed to my dear ones. i have begun clearing the debris of familiar patterns, and i have chosen a creative path that feeds my spirit. i feel in movement and also stable and centered.

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much like waves in the ocean that rise and fall, this journey i walk on is complicated and imperfect. as we begin this new moon project, i commit to respecting the wisdom of these waves within me and sharing with you from this place. i took a phone photo of myself this morning - in our bedroom, without face washed, moisturizer, or mascara, no retouching or post-photo softening.. just me, unmasked and in the present as i enter this sacred circle of women. 

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zivar amrami is a photographer and writer currently based in the hudson valley, ny. prior to engaging with her passion for photography, zivar spent most of her time raising money for the arts, creating community-based programs and workshops, and traveling abroad whenever possible. in addition to making pictures and writing short stories, zivar is involved with a few projects that are geared toward reclaiming authentic and sacred conversation. zivar is grateful for and inspired by the many teachers that enter her life, most especially her fiance nadav.